2025 review — A year of search

Dear reader,

This is a yearly review, which I started in 2023. The point of this is to reflect, and not to simply let life pass by without appreciating all that has happened.

So, here goes:

Clarity

I almost didn’t want to write this review because from the outside, much hasn’t changed.

What I’m referring to is that I still haven’t been able to get an internship or get as fit as I’d like. Since these were two major things I wanted to accomplish this year, I was unhappy that I didn’t reach them. But I didn’t waste the year entirely.

A lot of things happened, mostly internally. I realized what I actually wanted from life, the kind of life I wanted to live, the kind of family I wanted to build, the things I wanted to pursue, and so on.

After my brother moved out of NYC during the summer, I have been fully on my own. I’ve had ample amount of time to reflect on things. This phase of reflection led me to make some very difficult decisions, some of which ended up hurting people I didn’t want to hurt.

I am living more in alignment with who I am and what I value—more than ever before, I think.

Relationship with God

A major thing in 2025 was my search for God. In faith, I’m not yet where I’d like to be, but I have, however, recognized that with each prayer and study, I’m growing. I still often lean on my own understanding, and I still struggle to submit to God’s will, but I’m making progress. That is what matters, I think.

I’ve been blessed to have found some people who are present to listen to my concerns and confusions, and guide me to live a more Godly life.

I’m turning from following a religion to building a relationship with God.

Friendships

This has always been one of the hardest things for me: not the maintaining friendships I value, but making more friends. Well, almost all the friendships I have have been present for years. In a way, I’ve grown up with those people. So we get along better.

I feel like I struggle to have patience when it’s with a new person. It’s almost like a vicious cycle. I don’t have many friends in this city. So I don’t get out or spend much time with anybody. Since I don’t spend any time with people, I don’t have many friends. It’s perhaps kind of stupid, the way that I think.

There has been some progress in this area, though. I have a group of people I call friends here. I don’t hang out with them much because life’s busy, but I have friends.

Emotional Intelligence

I have begun to consider how I make others feel with the way I speak, with what I prioritize, and so on. One of the major things is the way that I communicate things.

This happened after someone pointed it out, but I recognized that I’m very, very direct. This can be a good thing with certain people who also value directness, but with ~99% of the people, this is a bad idea.

It is important, I’ve come to realize, to be mindful of the wording, my tone, and my attitude when communicating with others. Humans are emotional beings. If I don’t consider people’s emotions, my relationship with others will continue to suffer.

I still have a long way to go, but EI is now on my radar.

Looking back: How I did on 2025 goals

1. At least one YT video every other week — While I didn’t post super regularly, I completed the CS50 series, which I’m happy about. The subscriber count has increased, and my videos have been watched over 226,000 times. That’s crazy.
2. Get an internship — I didn’t.
3. Get fit — This was a big whoopsie. I don’t think I’ve gotten less fit, but I’ve definitely not made much progress. I’ve been working extra hours and have had a lot of things to do. I could add gym to my routine, but it would only add extra pressure, I think.
4. I have also been taking more photos, which I’m happy about.

Moving forward: Goals for 2026

In 2026, I want to focus most on the things that will bring the maximum returns for me. That will be two things: The first would be getting an internship, and the second, becoming a better communicator.

I’m sure that the outcomes will not be in my control, but there are things I can work on to increase the likelihood. So, here are the major things I’ll be focusing on:

1. Build at least one full-stack application that I’m proud of: I have a lot of ideas noted in my notes app about projects that I’d like to work on, but I haven’t really worked on any of them. The major reason is that I don’t think I have the skills yet. I’d like to change that. Either by learning as I go or learning and then building, I want to build at least one application that I feel good about. The complexity may differ, but I’d like it to have a proper use case and enough fully fleshed features for the use case to be met.
2. Redo my personal website: For over 4 years now, my personal website has been built on top of WordPress. There are some custom things I’ve added on my own, but I still feel very limited by what WordPress allows me to do. So this year, I’ve planned to redo my website from scratch. The basic version will only have a frontend, mostly static. Gradually, though, I’d like to also add some dynamic features. Or the dynamic features may just be cron jobs on my computer. We’ll see the implementation details later, but this is something I want to do this year.
3. Meet and get to know more people: I won’t set the goal to make more friends, but I will, nonetheless, work on getting out of my comfort zone. This will include meeting more people, talking to them to get to know them more. It will also imply that I go out more, even if I feel like I could be ‘doing something more productive’ in that time.

That is all I want to focus on this year. There, for sure, will be other things that I do. I’ll surely be continuing to write this newsletter every week and spending active time in prayer. Also, even if I don’t go to the gym, I’ll be doing pushups at home as the bare minimum.

If I just accomplish these things by the end of the year, it will have been a good amount of progress for me.

If you have any thoughts or feedback, let me know. As always, the best way to get in touch with me is to respond to this email.

I’ll see you next week. Wait, I’ll see you next year. I wish that 2026 is an incredible year for you—a year of learning, of growth, of friendship, of memories. All the very best, dear reader.

I’m glad you have been a part of my journey, and I hope I’ve been able to deliver some interesting ideas to you.

Take care, my friend.

Warmly,
Suraj