Dear reader, Suraj here —
For the longest time, my elder brother has told me to mind how I carry myself.
“Others will treat you based on how you present yourself,” he has said. This is something that I’ve struggled to get myself to understand.
One implication of this is that if I don’t have and share a preference/opinion on things, soon enough, people will stop asking for my input because they will assume that, as always, I probably won’t have any.
Yet another implication could be: if I am always jolly and funny, it will be hard for people to take me seriously. I don’t want this to be the case, but as I’ve come to learn, this is how things work.
How I present myself to others, even to the people that I am close to, matters more than we’d think.
The reason I’m discussing this right now is that I’ve begun to realize that in the friendships where I’ve let boundaries for respect be flimsy, they often have been disrespected. The sad part is that I cannot even put this on them; it is entirely on me. If I had set clear boundaries on what I do and do not accept, they most certainly wouldn’t attempt crossing them, since they would know that if they do, they will lose me as a friend.
A fascinating aspect is also when we carry ourselves in a certain way, even if it is not fully who we are, we begin to develop those characteristics. For example, if I were to present myself as a person who is always on time, even if that is not who I’ve always been, I would begin to build that as a part of my character. Similar to the saying: “fake it till you make it”, but more genuine.
The lesson from this, I think, is that if I want to be taken seriously, I will have to begin being mindful of every aspect of my presence: from the way I communicate to the way I do or don’t do things.
Intentional presence is what I’m getting to. This might be something to consider for yourself, too.
I will see you next week.
Warmly,
Suraj
